I am like those leaves that fall from the tree, they look beautiful but yet no one takes me home, they crush me with their feet just to hear the crushing sound, they move me aside to make themselves way, they brush me away so that my crushed pieces does not make the tree look bad. Yet, the tree stays in its place, strong, bold, steady, just to make sure more leaves come out of it. For you to crush it.
******
It happens every night, the nights are the worst part. The days pass, with so called, "happiness" on my face. My heart knows how it has been bleeding, not because she is not talking to me, but i am the reason that made our relationship toxic today. I have made it so toxic that there is still the hangover, its just not going away, the crocin seems to be too weak to handle it, the beer can’t do anything alone, neither the cigarette, they somewhat try together though.
******
It happens every night, the nights are the worst part. The days pass, with so called, "happiness" on my face. My heart knows how it has been bleeding, not because she is not talking to me, but i am the reason that made our relationship toxic today. I have made it so toxic that there is still the hangover, its just not going away, the crocin seems to be too weak to handle it, the beer can’t do anything alone, neither the cigarette, they somewhat try together though.
I want it to end now, the pain, i need to either die or live without pain. I need her to reject me or accept me. I am falling in between the huge cliff, trying to hold the weak branches, but they are all slipping away, and no rope seems to come my way. I want to get up, or fall down and die, the falling is hell, it makes my heartbeat crazy, changes me too much, I lose myself in fear.
I need to either die, or live.
*******
May be that is what it is. You have always wanted to be left alone. And here you are, Alone. Not that you want to be alone, not that you need to stay alone, not that you love being alone, not even that you hate being alone. But, thats how it is. You are alone. Stay alone, speak with yourself or get bored. Be with your true self or overthink.
Thats the best thing, you yourself get to judge you, and by that you can become a better person.
Its high time that you learn to be this way. Stay this way, and no one will judge you. Stay this way, and you will know yourself a bit better. Stay this way and you would not feel 'Alone' even if you are.